Six Weddings and a Funeral

Yes, indeed it is true. Since February 14, 2015 we have attended six weddings and a funeral. There were aspects of each of these events heartbreakingly beautiful, sometimes funny, and all unforgettable. In each case either the bride or groom and sometimes both were very special friends or relatives of ours. Every bride was beautiful. (One bride’s dress was made by her mother, and was so very perfect for her.) Much thought and labor had gone into every detail of every event. Three of the six weddings were destination weddings, although one was near family of the couple but most of the guests came from far away. Children of the bride or the groom or both were members of three of the wedding parties. It must be a lovely memory for children to see their parents marry. What a good book title,” I danced at mother’s wedding.”

Rather than talk about them first, second, etc. I’ll pick out random parts that made these events so memorable to me. One of the six very young, adorable flower girls at a wedding on a golf course utterly delighted me by sucking her thumb and she walked down the aisle. Everybody needs their security! One wedding was in a museum where the couple were married by a professor of Buddhism and reception guests were surrounded by dinosaurs. Guests at that wedding literally came from every corner of North America. Another couple were married by the groom’s sister and we were most honored to be honorary grandparents. Delicious brunch food was served after a morning wedding with little bags of delicious spiced pecans for every guest. An unusual gift for guests as they left one reception were bags of beans of various kinds and colors, symbolizing the couple’s farming operation.

The grooms were very special young men to us. And a collection! A farmer, a scientist, a young veteran, a minister, a college football star turned salesman and a ski instructor. Two were grandsons, one by blood, one by choice, and one special nephew. How lucky we are to have these wonderful young men in our lives. One groom almost didn’t make it. Just before the wedding he developed a severe infection which put him in the emergency room rather than at his wedding reception. His brand-new wife was very gracious to her guests even though she had to be terribly worried. The honeymoon had to be postponed, but medical science pulled him through. One wedding was on a beautiful sunny beach. The minister, groom and all the groomsmen were dressed in handsome beige tuxedos, the tiny bride in ruffles, and her ladies in waiting in beautiful peach gowns, and all were barefoot. I loved it. Another thing I love about all of these grooms were the wonderful women they chose to spend their lives with. Lovely every one.

Many newly married couples go to Niagara Falls, but how many take a busload of their wedding guests with them, picnicking enroute? What fun! Destination weddings often require guests to congregate in hotel rooms. In one room, the hot tub was filled with ice and cold drinks to be served with pizza. All of these weddings were expensive. All with dinner receptions for many guests. Young couples, or their parents, evidently will spend large to make dreams come true. Makes me wonder how my own marriage has lasted so long with a tiny wedding, and reception in a private home with cake and presents. HOWEVER, (that’s a big however) I felt that each of these couples were very serious about their marriage vows, and I predict these marriages will last. Our very best wishes to all!

And a Funeral. A young man died. Whit was good friends with our three sons, born the same day as one of them. There were only weeks for his friends to accept the inevitable, and do what they could for him in his last days. And he had many extraordinary requests! He wanted two of the guys and four girls dressed in tuxedos to be his pallbearers. He asked one of the guys to build his coffin. He requested a monster truck, in lieu of a hearse. He asked for “You Are My Sunshine” to be sung at his funeral in honor of his mother. He wanted everyone to laugh with him and be happy. He asked to go to Lake Superior one last time where the guys had fished. A large group of friends had attended the Indianapolis 500 together for many years. He wanted to do that one last time. Almost all of his wishes were granted, but his time ran out too quickly. So the rest of the guys sold their Indie tickets, and had a pizza party with him at the hospice house. The friend who shared his birthday brought a big pail of Lake Superior water and sand to his bedside. There is a picture of him standing in the pail in his hospital gown. One guy wore an “Indie” shirt to his funeral, where the polished monster truck awaited. Whit was blessed with an adoring mother, wonderful brothers, and friends who say they can still hear him laughing.

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I love a beautiful garden!

I Love a Beautiful Garden

I love a beautiful garden. I will walk miles to see one. You see, I am horticulturally impaired. It can’t be my genes. Both of my grandmothers had green thumbs and my mother’s roses were the pride of the neighborhood. My father grew raspberries that I am still scarred from picking. I seem to have passed those good genes to my #2 son, who at a very young age, dug in the dirt and planted stuff. Today he is a farmer. Can genes skip a generation? Give me a little plot of dirt and some seeds and I’ll soon show you a little plot of dirt with grass and weeds flourishing. Do the seeds ever sprout? How do you tell?

When I have guests, I suggest a trip to my cousin Linda’s to admire her garden. (I should state here that I am blessed with two cousins ‘Linda.’ The one sings like an angel and makes costumes and directs plays etc. The gardener is my other cousin Linda.) One spring, I bought topsoil and dumped the bags on my little plot of dirt. Then I asked Linda of the beautiful garden (who is also beautiful and doesn’t have dirt under her fingernails like I do after just dumping the bags) what to do next. She said, “buy some flowers and I’ll help you.” She showed up one morning before I was up and planted my plot.

It is beautiful! I do hope it will last. She used strange words like mulch and fertilizer. I nodded like I knew what she meant. The very next day another friend came from afar and brought more flowers in a flat. Why do they call it a flat, I wondered aloud? (Possibly my problem is that I am more interested in words than gardening.) She replied, “I’ll plant these if you’ll fix lunch.” Guess how quickly I went to the kitchen..

Now, pots and planters are another matter. I can do pots and planters. I churn up the dirt from last year, and tuck those little buggers in and add water. When the little plants come with their own dirt and I plant them every year, why don’t my pots seem to gain dirt? I wonder about things like that. And I can do house plants. When I walk by them, they grab me with their little tendrils and scream “water me or I’ll die and you’ll be ashamed.” Years ago my friend Jeanene, who worked in a greenhouse told me to just water houseplants once a week and to really soak them. I can do that. If it’s Saturday, I water.

I am not pitiful, not at all. I am a crucial link in the gardening chain. One thing I have learned is that gardeners need someone to appreciate the fruits (and vegetables) of their labors. I do that very well. They hate to see anything go to waste. My son, the farmer, plants dozens of rows of sweet corn each year and worries if it doesn’t get picked. At the same time, he complains that the raccoons and deer are picking it. Some people are never happy.

So I am the consumer every gardener needs. People bring me crispy green peppers and cabbages almost ready to burst into cold slaw. Can I use a few tomatoes, cucumbers or zucchini? Of course, I can! And I am truly delighted and appreciative. And I barter. Bring me some apples and I’ll bake you a pie

I’ve gotta run now. My gardener neighbor just called and said “I need to divide my creeping phlox and wondered if you’d like to have some for that bare plot of dirt along your sidewalk.”Yes, I’d love some”, I said. “What is it? How do you plant it?”

“I’ll be right over with some mulch,” she said. I dashed inside to bake her a pie.

 

 

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Tradition

Tradition

 Tradition. What a hard sounding word! They sang about it in “Fiddler On The Roof” as if it was something sacred.” Many religious beliefs are based on tradition, but I don’t think I understand tradition. Is tradition something good? Unchangeable? To be desired? Is, “we have always done it that way,” a good reason for always doing it that way?

            Once my sister-in-law was making the turkey stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner. I suggested not putting in the giblets because our family didn’t care for them. She replied that she would put them in because that’s the way her mother made dressing. End of discussion. Tradition means giblets. Bleah.

How many times do you have to do something before it becomes a tradition?  Who starts traditions, can anybody do it? Maybe traditions start quite easily but are hard to get rid of.  Some families can’t have the clan dinner without a certain salad that was Grandpa’s favorite even though Grandpa is long gone. Sometimes the name of the food  is traditional, like at our house, angel food cake is called “soap cake.” We don’t remember why.

            Traditions probably hold families together, but maybe they also cause loneliness and sadness when enforced separation, divorce, illness or death, interfere with typical family holiday celebrations. Maybe it’s better to do things differently occasionally, if only to demonstrate that if the family changes in some respect, the celebration can be changed to accommodate the new situation.

             Some people just fly in the face of tradition and have fun doing it.  Last year, one family that I know had a potluck Thanksgiving dinner on the beach and they are doing it on a boat this year. (This was in California, and probably shouldn’t be tried at Lake Superior.) One warm Michigan Christmas day, we did grill steaks on the patio, and took pictures of the thermometer and of grandma grilling.

            One summer I attended a wedding in the public library, and another in the groom’s parent’s front yard, with reception in a tent. Ta, Ta, tradition. I’ll bet that most traditions start by pure accident. The Indians and the pilgrims probably fixed whatever they could find, probably didn’t even eat it together, and we’ve been stuck with their menu ever since. Maybe you could be just as thankful with pork loin or meatloaf this year. If someone in the family insists on turkey and trimmings, make them vow to be a kitchen slave from start to finish AND stick around afterwards to clean off the carcass. Get it in writing! If you must cook turkey, you should stuff it with my Aunt Irene’s wonderful stuffing! It’s a (ahem) tradition.

Aunt Irene’s Easy & Wonderful and & Perfect Stuffing

 1 loaf bread of choice

1 t. sage (or to taste)

1 stick (1/2 cup) butter

2-1/2 cups broth or water

1 pkg. dry onion soup mix

1 medium potato, cooked, mashed, including cooking liquid

1 C. sliced celery, cooked, with cooking liquid

 Break bread into small pieces. It is fine to use stale bread or buns. Sprinkle bread with sage. Melt butter in water or broth and stir in soup mix; pour over bread.  Add potato with cooking liquid, and celery with cooking liquid.  Mixture should be very moist. *Stuff bird, or remove bird from oven about 1 hour before it is done and spoon dressing into pan juices. Cover dressing with foil for part of baking time. Continue baking until turkey is done.  To Bake separately, pour into buttered pan and bake covered for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake 15 minutes more.    

*(I prefer not to stuff turkey. It is easier, safer and just as good, I think.)

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October Is Christmas!

October is a celebration. I’m sure of it. I think it’s Christmas! Some governmental subcommittee, after study of their own thick reports, designated the end of December for the birth of the Lord. But they were wrong. Any fool can see that Christmas is in October. God furnishes the decorations, the refreshments, cleans up the sky, hangs out the harvest moon and announces that it’s party time.

The trees change their clothes and put on the brightest style show ever. They stand in all their majesty, changing color minute by minute through the sunny days, then blend with sunsets that no painter can capture. Can this gigantic ball on the horizon like a giant orange balloon really be the moon?

And the party food! Red and yellow apples hang on the trees bursting their skins with juice. Fat pumpkins and melons lie warm in the sun, waiting to be tapped.  Ears of corn, too heavy for their stalks, hang down and wait. Red tomatoes are ripe and ready, as well as every other manner of fruit and vegetable. Even the summer flowers show their best color.

Add to all the atmosphere, a trip to the cider mill for cider and warm donuts; an Indian Pow Wow with fry bread and dancing; a pumpkin party for children; and a big pile of dry leaves to jump into.  It’s October! It’s Christmas! Come to the party!

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Jammed

JAMMED!

Yesterday I bought a couple of jars of cherry jam and also because ‘tis the season, some black sweet cherries. “If I pit a few of these beauties, I’ll bet I could make my own cherry jam,” I said to no one listening.  Because you see, I have a cherry pitter, well two to be precise; there is a pitter and Ted to operate the pitter. I suppose pitter operators are called pitters, don’t you think?

I only needed 4 cups of cherry pulp to make the jam. A piece of cake, right? So Ted pitted the cherries, 4 cups full. I had my first doubts, while watching the operation and mopping up bright red cherry juice from the cupboard, Ted, and the floor.  Some cherries appeared to have a dangling pit.  After he had escaped the messy premises, commenting that “a guy could get lost in this kitchen,” I found a knitting needle and ran it through the holes in the cherries. I located 13 pits in various stages of removal. I imagined broken teeth and choking death, at least!  “Can I stop now after all this work and mess?” I asked myself, no one else being the slightest bit interested.  

Chopped up, I had only 2 cups of red mush. In the freezer, I found frozen white sweet cherries from our own trees. We must have picked them before I had even one pitter, so they went down the disposal, sharpening the blades as they went.  There is another story about picking those cherries that includes a backhoe and me sitting in the bucket while Ted lifted me up. He and a passing neighbor discussed whether or not it would be murder if one “accidentally” dropped ones wife from a backhoe bucket, but I digress.

My freezer yielded 2 cups of red sour cherries, professionally pitted, and the jam is cooked and cooling. I won the bet; I could make beautiful black and red jam myself…well not without the help of Ted and the other pitter, a food processor, a knitting needle, freezer, pots and pans and various other kitchen aids that I intend to clean up if I can face the kitchen after my nap. 

 

  

 

 

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The Ocean Doesn’t Care

THE OCEAN DOESN’T CARE

Living in the middle of Michigan all my life, without so much as a lake within 20 miles, I used to yearn to spend time at the sea shore. We have been fortunate enough to do that a few times, and I especially enjoyed beaches in Maine and Mexico.

Then, A few years ago, I went on a cruise in the northeast U.S. leaving from Boston. We cruised up the coast to Maine and over to Nova Scotia. On a bus tour of Halifax, the tour director took us past a cemetery and told that many of the bodies recovered from the sea after the Titanic went down are buried there.     What a solemn thought.

The very next day we set sail on the return trip to Boston. An hour or so out, the North Sea became vicious. Although the cruise ship was stable, the huge gray, angry waves and the gray angry sky were positively frightening. It was not hard to imagine the night that the Titanic went down about there. I stopped thinking of the ocean as friendly and inviting.

The Ocean Doesn’t Care

The ocean doesn’t care if you sink or swim.It doesn’t care for day, night or the wishes of man.

The ocean doesn’t care if the object it batters is a log or a liner, a human, or a house.

Its constant heaving and writhing is mindless of the lives beneath it and those along its shores.

It doesn’t care if you use it, abuse it, need it, love it or fear it. It doesn’t care if you consider it beautiful, ugly, violent or serene; or if you consider it at all.

Like the sun, the moon, the wind, and earth itself…the ocean doesn’t care

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Farming 1940’s Style + 36 cousins

Hello friends! I have decided to start a blog, after being challenged to do so by Dusty, one of my husband’s buddies. It all started when my granddaughter Lauren was visiting me. She is 11 and we have many conversations. I told her that life was very different when I was her age, and that I had written a story about it, called “One Day at Grandma’s House.” I read it to her and she really liked it and wanted to take it to school. Of course she forgot to take it.  So now I am publishing that story here, so she can read it, take it to school, or whatever she wants to do with it.  Also in this first posting, I will include a little poem called “Three Dozen Cousins.”  I was counting up one day how many cousins I had on one side of the family, and discovered there were actually 36 of us! So I wrote this little ditty and called it 36 cousins, that is I called it that until my cousin Susie called and said, Three Dozen Cousins! Of course she was right. So the following are for Lauren, Susie and Dusty.

ONE DAY AT GRANDMA’S HOUSE

A long time ago, before I was a Grandma, I was a little girl.  When I visited at my Grandma’s house on the farm, I had a busy day.

          I woke up in the morning and it was still dark.  Farmers got up early to milk the cows.  Grandma got up early to cook breakfast.  I got up to help.  I set the table and Gram cooked oatmeal.  I put the butter on the table.  It was a round, hard hump with little dents in it.  It was homemade butter that Grandma made herself.

          It was bright and warm in the kitchen, and dark outside.  Grandma said, “Would you like to go back to bed?”

          I said, “No, I want to watch Henry drink his water.”  Henry was the hired man, and before breakfast he drank cups and cups of hot water.  He said it cleaned out his system.  I watched.

          When Grandpa and Henry came in from the barn, they ate their oatmeal and talked about pigs and corn and cows.  Then Grandma said to me, “Would you like to get the hermits?”  Hermits were big, soft brown cookies that she kept in the cookie drawer.  They were Grandpa’s favorite kind.  He liked them for dessert for breakfast, but I didn’t like them at all!

                    After breakfast, Grandpa went to work.  He was a mailman.  Sometimes he took me with him, and we would stop the car along the road and put letters in the mailboxes.  Then we would wave at the people coming to get their mail.

          Mostly I stayed home and watched Henry light his pipe.  He lit his pipe all day long.  He scratched the wooden matches on the button of his overalls.  “I don’t think your pipe works very well,” I told him.  “Maybe you should get a new one.”  He would just laugh and scratch another match and light it again. He scooped lots of matches into his pocket from the red matchbox that hung on a nail in the kitchen, then he went to the barn to do his chores.

          After Grandpa and Henry were gone, Grandma and I got dressed and made the beds.  I helped her do her work like washing dishes and feeding the rest of the oatmeal to the dogs.  Then I looked around.   It was fun to sit in the sunny window and talk to the bird in the cage.  Under the window there was a big shelf of books to read.  I liked to turn the funny little spout on the big silver coffeepot.  It was right beside the dish of lemon drops.  Grandma had high cupboards full of dishes for company, and low cupboards full of treasures I could play with if I put them back.

          I had lots of things to play with if I followed the rules.  “Don’t touch Grandma’s desk unless she says you can.”  It was a wonderful desk.  The drawer had paper clips and a stapler. Best of all, there was a typewriter.  I could type all the words I knew if I only pushed down one key at a time. I could use one sheet of paper.

          “Don’t pound the keys.”  That was the piano rule.  In the piano bench there were piles of sheet music with pictures of pretty girls on the covers.  I pretended I could play the music.

          There was a big square register in the middle of the floor. “Hot registers are dangerous, and you must never put a lemon drop or ANYTHING ELSE down the register!”  I was a ballerina dancer when the hot air blew up under my dress.

                  I didn’t like to drink milk at grandma’s house.  It tasted funny.  It didn’t come in a glass bottle from the milkman like it did at my house.  It came in pails that Grandpa and Henry carried from the cows in the barn.  They poured the warm milk into a magic machine in the little white milk house.  The machine had spouts.  Milk poured out one spout and golden cream came out of the other.  I held my nose so I couldn’t smell the warm milk.

          After the cream was out of it, Grandpa carried milk back to the barnyard and poured some in a long, wooden trough for the pigs to eat.  They climbed all over each other to get the milk.  They acted just like pigs! “Stay outside the fence to watch the pigs, so you won’t get hurt or muddy.”  That was the barnyard rule.

          Feeding those pigs kept Henry busy.  Sometimes he fed them pig food he called “slop.”  It looked like dirty milk and water mixed with cereal, but when Henry called, “Sooey, Sooey,” the pigs came running and gobbled it up.  They thought it was delicious.

          Sometimes Henry built a fire under a barrel outdoors and cooked beans for the pigs.  He poured in pails of water and pails of beans and stirred it up with a shovel.  His beans had to cook all day long.  They smelled good!  When they were done and cool, he shoveled them into the pig’s trough.  He held out a shovelful to me and said, “Would you like some?” “I don’t think I want to eat your cooking,” I told him.  He just laughed and lit his pipe again.

          Feeding the people kept Grandma busy.  She whipped up the cow’s cream with her egg beater to put on cake.  She churned it up in her churn to make butter.  She put it in flour to make biscuits, and donuts and twistees for me.  Twistees are funny donut shapes that you could guess what they looked like, then take a bite and guess again.  “Stay far away from hot grease so you won’t get burned.”  That was the rule while Grandma fried doughnuts in a smoking pan of grease.  

          I could sit in the corner and watch the baby chicks.  When it was cold out, Grandma kept her baby chickens in a box in the kitchen to keep them warm. They were little furry, yellow balls that peeped.  I could hold one if I was careful not to squeeze it.  The chicks had a little dish of seeds and a little dish of water. I had donut holes and twistees.      

           In the afternoon, I played with the pump in the yard and looked for apples.  Out by the driveway there was a well with a hand pump.  I could pump very hard, then  put my hand under the spout.  The water squirted out a little hole so I could get a drink, and get all wet.  That was fun.  Grandma said, “You’ll catch your death of cold.  Come and get dry clothes on.”

                Over the fence, by the house where the chickens lived, there were lots of apple trees.  I looked for red apples with no worm holes.  “Don’t eat green apples, they will give you a stomach ache.”

          “Come Boss, Come Boss,” called Henry.  One by one the big cows came to the barn to be milked.  Sometimes I got to go to the barn at chore time.  That’s what we called the barn work, “chores.” “Stay far away from the cows so you won’t get kicked.”  I sat on a high stool, and Grandpa and Henry sat on little stools to milk the cows.  The barn cats came for their dish of warm milk.  The best part was giving the baby calves their bottles. They got a bottle just like babies do, but with a bigger nipple.

          After supper, Grandpa read the paper and went to sleep with his glasses on his nose.  Henry sat in the squeaky rocking chair and listened to the ballgame on the big radio with a yellow dial.  Then they both went to bed early, because they had to get up early to milk the cows again. 

          Grandma and I fixed my bed.  I had a magic bed at Grandma’s house.  In the daytime it was a hard leather couch.  When it was bedtime, we pulled and pushed and it was a bed for me.  As I got sleepy under the covers, I could see the piano and the sheet music.  I could see the big, warm register.  I could see the desk and the typewriter.  I could see Grandma, reading and reading in her chair.

 

THREE DOZEN COUSINS

 I have three dozen cousins!  We’re a big happy bunch.  It takes my mom and six aunts just to feed us all lunch.

 With so many children no one is able to sit us all down around the same table. Our Grandma’s idea is really a winner. We sit on the stair steps to eat Sunday dinner.

 Games are great fun to play with my cousins.  I play with just one, three or four or a dozen.  We fight and play tricks, we pout and we wiggle; we run through the house and we shout and we giggle.

 My gang of cousins are all different ages.  Joe can just read the pictures, Jon can read all the pages.

 Big families of cousins have to share lots of stuff, like with ice skates and  cookies… there’s never enough.  And pants shoes and dresses keep going around; my new Tigers sweatshirt is Tom’s hand-me-down.  Scoldings we all get, “can’t blame it on one.”  We pout for a while, then get on with the fun.

 Your cousin’s dad is your uncle, his mom is your aunt. Like parents, they tell what you can do and can’t.  If you stay at their house and get into trouble, you find that your aunt is like your mom’s double.  She’ll punish and scold you, but after stories are read, she’ll hug you and kiss you and tuck you in bed.

 Do you have a cousin or three or four?  Or five or six or 12 or more?  Then you have a big family, and I have a hunch, that when you visit at Grandma’s like our noisy bunch, a room full of aunts fixes your lunch.

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First post

Hello and welcome to my blog!  I am excited to start this new venture in writing.  Please check back as I get my blog filled with great stories to read.

alicia 118

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